Long-Distance Relationships While at Network School: Practical Advice for Making It Work
How to maintain a long-distance relationship while at Network School: communication strategies, visit planning, and managing the challenges.
Communication Strategies
The time zone gap is the biggest logistical challenge.
The time zone gap is the biggest logistical challenge. Malaysia (GMT+8) is 13 hours ahead of US Eastern and 8 hours ahead of London. Establish a consistent daily call time that works for both time zones. For US partners, 8 to 9am Malaysia time (7 to 8pm Eastern the day before) is popular. For European partners, 5 to 7pm Malaysia time (9 to 11am CET) works well. Video calls create more intimacy than voice or text alone. Use shared experiences to bridge the distance — watch the same show, read the same book, or do a virtual dinner date. Send photos and short voice notes throughout the day to maintain casual connection between scheduled calls.
Managing Jealousy and Insecurity
Living in an intense, close-knit community while your partner is thousands of miles away creates natural anxiety on both sides. Your partner may feel excluded from a major part of your life. You may feel guilty about the fun you are having. Proactive transparency is key: share your NS social life openly, introduce your partner via video to your NS friends, and avoid being secretive about social activities. If your partner expresses jealousy, validate the feeling rather than dismissing it. The gender ratio at NS and the intimate community environment can trigger insecurity that requires patient, empathetic communication.
Planning Visits
Having a visit planned reduces relationship strain significantly. Partners can visit NS — Forest City has hotel rooms and Airbnb options nearby. A week-long visit lets your partner experience your daily life, meet your friends, and understand the NS environment. The best visit timing is mid-stay, when you are settled and can show your partner around with confidence. Budget SGD800 to SGD1,500 ($600 to $1,100) for a week-long partner visit including flights from within Asia, or $1,500 to $2,500 from the US or Europe. Some couples plan a Singapore weekend as part of the visit for a memorable shared experience.
Strengthening Through Distance
Many couples report that intentional long-distance communication during NS actually strengthened their relationship. The forced distance eliminates coasting and autopilot — every conversation is deliberate. You both grow independently, which creates new energy when reunited. Share your growth — the skills you are learning, the perspectives you are gaining, the goals you are developing. Invite your partner into your transformation rather than presenting it as a fait accompli on return. The couples who struggle most are those who try to maintain their pre-NS communication patterns in a fundamentally different context. Adapt together.
13 hours — time difference between Malaysia and US Eastern
Source: Standard time zones
Daily video calls — most cited relationship maintenance practice
Source: NS couple interviews
“Distance does not ruin relationships. Lack of communication does. A relationship that survives intentional distance is stronger than one that has never been tested.”
Frequently Asked Questions
How often should we talk when I am at NS?
Daily video calls of 20-30 minutes are the gold standard. Supplement with async messages (photos, voice notes) throughout the day. Avoid trying to replicate your in-person communication volume — quality matters more than quantity. Some couples find that every-other-day calls work better to avoid obligatory conversations and maintain genuine excitement about sharing updates.
What if my partner feels abandoned?
Acknowledge their feeling as valid — you did choose to leave. Commit to specific actions that show they are a priority: scheduled calls, a planned visit, involving them in your NS decisions, and a clear return date. Share the reasons you went to NS and how it benefits your shared future. If the feeling persists despite your efforts, consider couples counseling via telehealth.
Should I share everything about my NS social life with my partner?
Transparency builds trust, but information overload can increase anxiety. Share openly about your activities, friendships, and experiences without providing unnecessary details that feed insecurity. If you are spending significant time with someone your partner might feel threatened by, address it proactively rather than letting them discover it through social media.
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